Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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