Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
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Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
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Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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