I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
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If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
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She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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