We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
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And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
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Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize