He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize