At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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