So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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