i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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