I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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