ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Drunk is a universal language darling
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize