The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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