he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize