He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We left the knife in your bed.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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