you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize