My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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