a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize