Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize