She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
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I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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