Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
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I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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