why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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