He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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