The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize