Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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