yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
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I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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