his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
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Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
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He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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