She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
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are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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