I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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