I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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