I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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