so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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