You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
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you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
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I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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