Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
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Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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