it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
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he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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