so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
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he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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