conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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