Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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