So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
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Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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