Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
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Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize