Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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