I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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