I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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