I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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