you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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