pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my phone needs a breathalizer
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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