You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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