I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize