i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize