Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
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I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
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Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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