I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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