this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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